Submissive Wives

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord." Ephesians 5:22

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her " Ephesians 5:25

I am a submissive wife.  What does that mean?  It means when my husband speaks I listen.  I know there are a lot of men out there saying to themselves 'wish my wife would do that' but if you asked my husband he'd probably tell you to be careful what you wish for.  See the Bible doesn’t just stop with 'wives submit'.  In fact the Bible tells us that to whom much is given much is expected.  To have a wife submit to you is a huge responsibility.  You become the leader of your household like Christ leads the church.

 I don’t know how many times in the course of our marriage I’ve found occasion to let my husband know that I don’t envy him.  I wouldn’t trade places with him.  Husbands please understand something; you are the head and not the tale, above and not beneath.  If you are to be doers of the word, having ears to hear, eyes to see, and a heart that understands, then you have to be the one to start this.  You need to be in the Word constantly reading and re-reading the scriptures of how a husband is to treat his wife.  Speak softly to her, lift her up, encourage her, be an example to her.  One of the biggest blessings I have in my husband is a good example.  Women are emotional; we tend to over react but my husband stays calm, repeats the Word, and reminds me that we have a hope in Christ.  He inspires in me the will to live a life of Integrity.  Husbands have that ability, you have been blessed with the gifting’s to be a blessing to your wives.  It really is as simple as doing what the Bible tells you to do.

 Wives do not misunderstand me; the Bible states that we can drag our husbands with us to heaven with our faith!  If your husband is not the head of the house then you can begin to act in love, submitting yourself to God and therefore your husband.  I speak those things that are not as if they were, and say out loud in my home ‘When my husband speaks I listen’.  When we rebel against our spouse we are rebelling against God.  His word is clear, over and over again the Bible states that wives should submit and husbands should cherish. 

Listen, you don’t have to do it God’s way.  There was a whole movement, women burned bras and men stopped holding open doors.  You can do it the world’s way.  You’ll have about a 50/50 chance of staying married.  Or you can do it God’s way, where no weapon formed against you will prosper.  If you build the foundation of your marriage on the Rock you’ll have a 100% guarantee that you will not fail.  Will it be easy?  No.  God’s word is not a magic genie lamp, it’s a manual.  Just like the manual in your car if you don’t read it you won’t know it.  If you don’t put to practice what you read in the manual you’ll never get your transmission fluid changed and your vehicle will break down.  Read it, do it, succeed at it. 

There is a mystery to marriage, when you do it right your life will become blessed.  Where to or more are in agreement so there too will Christ be!  If you do it wrong, if you continue to go against what God’s word teaches, no part of your life can bring you fulfillment. 

Treat your marriage as important as Christ treats the church.

Philippians 3:17-20

Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern.  For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame—who set their mind on earthly things. For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ" Philippians 3:17-20


I read this, and I reread it, and by the third time I was also in tears.  I thought to myself 'Is this me?  Is my God my body?  Is my glory my shame?  Am I an enemy of the cross?'  I want you to ask yourself, at the end of this blog, the exact same thing.  But first, let me dig in.


The first part of this Paul is giving us some fantastic advice.  By this time Jesus had already risen and the people no longer had Him as a living example.  Paul is saying two things, pay attention to how people are living and if you see they are living right follow in there example.  We have a tendency to do the latter without first checking if the person is real.  Facebook masks are easy to put in place, you can make yourself out to be anything or anyone online.  Before you put your trust in someones guidance test them, make sure they are who they say they are.  No one is perfect, but if you catch your spiritual leader beating his wife obviously you missed something.  This is another great place to use discernment.  Pray about people before you put a piece of your walk with Christ in their hands.  This is serious, this is important.  Satan has many paths and sideways he can use to get you of course. 


'For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ'
I'm telling you this also with deep solemness, there are people in your church that are enemies of the cross.  There are people we love, people we trust, that are fooling us.  But they can't fool God, He is the searcher of hearts. Please pay close attention to the words Paul is using, he specifies that these people are walking.  He's referencing the walk of faith.  These people might even think they are walking with Christ, but instead they are a snare for the rest of us.


'whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame—who set their mind on earthly things'
Can I tell you something you might already know?  Some people come to church, act super holy, raise there hands and Amen like the best of them, because they like looking spiritual.  These people aren't living lives of integrity, they aren't running any race, they just like fitting in.  They are worshiping themselves, their own image, they find glory in themselves.  The Bible tells us that the glory belongs to God, but these people keep that glory for themselves.  Like I said they may have no idea, they may be so blinded by the devil that they think what really matters is how they look on the outside.  They are wolves in sheep's clothing, they come in and gossip, create dissension in the Body of Christ, tear the pastors up, and leave feeling glorified.  It's the belief that by tearing someone else down you yourself will look better.  Guard yourself from these people, when the enemy uses them to confront you, to tempt you, rebuke them.  Stand up for what is right.  You don't have to be ugly, but you do have to step out of your comfort zone.  Remember that we don't fight against mere flesh, but against powers and principalities.  That person might hear you, your words might remove the blinders from their eyes, or they might get offended and never talk to you again.  Either way you did what was right.  Be more concerned about offending the Holy Spirit than the people around you.


'For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ'
Here's the answer, here's the way out of the devils snare.  Keep your eyes on the Kingdom.  This doesn't mean you'll never be tempted.  It doens't mean you'll never feel more like staying home and sleeping in than going to church, it just means when you are tempted by Satan you'll have an answer. 


I'm not worshipping myself, my needs, my wants, I'm worshipping a God who has provided for me.  I'm not finding glory in my shame, I GIVE the glory to the one who deserves it, God.  I will not set my mind on earthly things, I am in the world, not of it, I AM a citizen of heaven!


My heart hurts for the people Paul is talking about.  I know those people, I've seen those people, some of those people when I was younger made me not want to continue going to church.  They truely have no idea the damaging effect they have on others, on the image of Christ.  That's why they are considered enemies of the cross of Christ, they are deterants for others to go to church, to learn about Christ.  As bad as that is, as hurtful as they might be, no one deserves to go to Hell.  When you come across these people don't judge them, don't ignore them, pray for them, confront them, their souls are on the line.  Demand integrity from those who call themselves believers.  Above all, demand integrity out of yourself, you are an embassador of Christ, if His light can't shine through you who can it shine through?  Stand up, step out, and live a life of integrity. 

2 Corinthians 4:1-2

'Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart.  But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God's word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to every one's conscience in the sight of God' - 2 Corinthians 4:1-2

I want you to go back and read through this scripture a couple times.  When you do look at it in the mindset of your own ministry, whether you are a pastor, an accountant, or a parent.  Let's take this apart, stay with me now because I'm heading somewhere important.

'Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God' I want you to understand that the men who wrote the New Testament weren't popular, attractive, Evangelical preachers on the radio reaching millions.  These were men who were, most of the time, considered criminals.  People thought they were nuts, people thought they were offensive, people thought they were embarrassments.  They...didn't...care, in fact not only did they not care but they were THANKFUL.  Can I tell you how many times in my life I have kept my mouth shut about God, or about one of His principles, because I was afraid the people around me would think I was nuts, or offensive, or embarrassing?  I can see now that by not embarrassing myself I was embarrassing God's name.  By not offending others I was offending the spirit. 

'...we do not lose heart.'  I could write this entire blog about this first sentence.  I really could.  I'll be completely honest with you, I lose heart probably once a day.  I'm not Paul, I wish I was closer to being the disciple he was but I'm not.  I'm also not facing even a quarter of the diversities he was facing.  I know people will say that I'm awful hard on myself, but listen I don't have time to be proud.  I want everyone reading this to know, to understand, that I write this stuff without the assumption that it's easy.  I want you all to know that when the devil tells you that you're the only one having a hard time, the only Christian struggling, that everyone else you know has this down, HE'S LYING TO YOU!  Enough is enough.  It's time for high and mighty Christians to take there masks off and reveal that they, like the rest of us, are not perfect.

'But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways.'  Renouncing something is a vocal thing.  Paul says that they renounce disgraceful, underhanded ways.  When you do that, when you step out of your comfort zone, stand up for what is right, you're going to offend some folks.  It's worth it.  Live a life of integrity, and demand that those around you do the same.  Silence is seen both by people and by Satan as acceptance.  Don't be silent on what matters.  Silence got prayer taken out of schools.

'We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God's word,' REFUSE.  I like that word.  They refused to take the precious Word of God out of context to get what they wanted.  I want Christians everywhere to begin to use the word refuse.  Refuse to stand idly by while our beliefs are mocked or misconstrued.  Refuse to take other peoples opinions on what a scripture means for granted.  Have the integrity to go back, read the chapter, read the whole book, before believing what someone says.  Don't be spoon fed Gods Word, that's how people end up drinking the coolaid. 

'but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to every one's conscience in the sight of God.'  this is the most impactful part to me.  It says to me that he lived a life so based on the Word, so based on the open truth, that he didn't need people to tell him what they thought of him.  He didn't care.  He knew that no matter how much people agreed or disagreed with him, that they knew what kind of man he was.  He was the kind of man that was thankful, strong, trustworthy, upright, and courageous.  People didn't have to listen to his words to find that out, they just had to watch how he lived.  In the sight of men and in the sight of God, we all need to live a life of integrity.

I've said this before, but I'm going to say it again.  I have a lot of excuses to behave like the world.  I have an excuse for getting drunk all the time, another one for using drugs, a few for being promiscuous, and several for being a selfish, lazy wife and mother.  But my upbringing doesn't have to dictate who I am.  Out of all those excuses, I don't have one good reason.  I do, however, have one amazing reason to live a life of integrity, and that good reason died on a cross for my sins over 2000 years ago.  Step out, stand up, and live a life on integrity.  Paul is one fantastic example!

Proverbs 21:3

^'To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.' Proverbs 21:3

Before we get digging, and before I explain where I'm going with this, let's do a little background.  Except for a hand full of exceptions Proverbs was written by King Solomon, son of King David.  King Solomon is the one who asked God, not for money, not for fame, not for power, but for wisdom.  Now, let's dig in...

Remember that at the time when this was written people still had to make sacrifices to God to cover there sins.  That was insanely important, but here Solomon is saying that righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.  That doesn't mean that people can live righteous lives, die, and go to heaven without ever accepting Christ's sacrifice on the cross.  Integrity doesn't negate the need for Christ, it runs hand in hand with the vow you make the day you become a Christian.

Integrity.  That's a weighty word.  How does it tie into this scripture?  Let's take a look at the definition. 

Integrity: The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

Last night my husband and I watched the movie Courageous for the first time.  It's an amazingly inspirational movie and if you haven't seen it please, please, please do yourself a favor and go rent/buy it.  This movie directly addresses the integrity, or lack there of, in men these days.  They gave some staggering statistics about the effects of fatherless homes on children.  I'm not going to tell you those statistics because I want you to go watch the movie but I will say, once again, I'm not a statistic I'm a success story!  I was raised in a fatherless home, the impact that had on me has forever changed my life in everyway possible.  One mans irresponsible decision has lasting effects, just like every irresponsible, or selfish, decision you make will have an effect on someone else. 

Before watching this movie integrity had been on my heart, for weeks now it's been on my heart.  The movie was just an instant reminder that I'm not alone.  So often, while walking on the straight and narrow, I begin to feel secluded from all the people taking the easy way out.  I didn't know 6 months ago when the Lord began to call me up higher that it was going to be such a lonely walk.  My husband compared it to driving in the HOV lane; it's a very, VERY, narrow path to drive on.  While driving on it you can still see the people driving on the multilane highway next to you.  They've got all these easy exits they can take, all these distractions that can pull them off their path.  They can also drive right next to one another, in a big group if they want, and sometimes they all get stuck behind the same wreck together.  On the HOV lane you can't drive next to anyone, there is someone in front of you, and there is someone behind you.  I see it like Jesus, who went before us to prepare us a way, driving in front of me, and the Holy Spirit, the great helper, driving behind me and encouraging me to keep going.  There are other Christians on this road, but our walk with Christ is a personal, individual walk. 

Why has integrity been on my mind so much lately?  Well if you know me well you know I believe America is headed toward, or already in, another Depression.  This is a pretty serious matter and Justin and I have been preparing for inflation as best we can.  I blame this coming trial in America on the lack of integrity of the American people.  People stopped taking responsibility for there actions, because of that we stopped holding those in office responsible for there's.  How can we blame the government for being in debt when we have mortgages, leases on cars, and more credit cards in our wallets than we can keep up with?  We can vote someone new in, we can vote a lot of new people in, but the answer isn't going to be found in congress or the white house, it's going to be found in us.  We are the answer.  It starts with you; yes YOU, living an upright and blameless life right now.  That means having integrity.

^'The integrity of the upright shall guide them, but the willful contrariness and crookedness of the treacherous shall destroy them.' Proverbs 11:3

Let me explain something about integrity, it's not popular.  When you begin to live with integrity you're going to offend those around you that don't.  Why?  Because you're raising the bar, you're unintentionally calling them out; you are in effect convicting them.  The majority of American's don't even know what integrity looks like.  It's not easy, but it is important.

When I was growing up, all the way up to about 15-years-old I knew absolutely no one with integrity.  Every adult in my life lied, bent the truth, went back on there word, or cheated when it was easier or more convenient.  But when I was 15 I met a woman with integrity, I didn't know it was integrity then I didn't know what it was, all I knew was that I wanted what she had.  Although my mom had accused this woman’s church of being a witchcraft practicing occult, and while all the other members and friends I had from this church had made fun of me at the least and completely ostracized me at the most, this woman didn't.  I showed up for a New Years Eve event with that church, it took me a long time to convince my mom to let me go, but she did.  When I got there this woman walked out of the building she was in, hugged me, hugged my mom, told us she was glad we had come and how much she had missed me.  It would have been easy, and acceptable to the other members, for this woman to ignore me, but she didn't.  I'm certain she faced a certain amount of scrutiny from the other members for showing me so much kindness, but it was the right thing to do and, like my fathers act of irresponsibility, her act of integrity changed my life.  I didn't want to be like the other women in my life; I wanted to be like her. 

Now I know that what she had was integrity, and that I can have what she had, I can take the grocery baskets to the place they belong, I can go the speed limit and not cut people off, I can stand up for what is right, I can keep my word when it's not convenient, I can tell the truth even if it gets me in trouble, and I can show kindness to those that others deem unworthy.  There is a coming darkness, it's going to hang a shadow over the American people, and some will use that shadow as an excuse to take the easiest route.  However, in the darkest the light shines bright, and I believe that all over America Christians will stand up, will grab a hold of the integrity movement, and God will be glorified through His people once more.  It starts with you, don't accept mediocrity any longer, instead expect the Christians around you to come up higher, to show integrity.  Stand together; stand in the light, stand up for what is right. 
 

I'm going to start a page, and within this page I hope to light a fire, I hope to begin a movement that changes the lives of Americans everywhere.  I'm calling this page The Integrity Movement, and it is self explanatory.  If you know someone who has shown great integrity then I want to hear about it.  If you know someone in need of anything, in need of some Christians willing and eager to show integrity then I want to hear about it.  I'm sure, like everything, it'll start out small, but I know that God can use us to make a difference!

Ephesians 5:15-16

Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise (sensible, intelligent people), making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil.
   Ephesians 5:15-16 (AMP)

'Behave yourselves wisely [living prudently and with discretion] in your relations with those of the outside world (the non-Christians), making the very most of the time and seizing (buying up) the opportunity. Let your speech at all times be gracious (pleasant and winsome), seasoned [as it were] with salt, [so that you may never be at a loss] to know how you ought to answer anyone [who puts a question to you].'
   Colossians 4:5-6 (AMP)

Both of these books were written by Paul and most scholars agree that in both cases he was writing from prison.  In both cases the background of these scriptures is Paul encouraging and explaining how we ought to live as Christians.  It's pretty intense and is completely different then the way the world acts today, I strongly suggest reading both of these chapters, if not the whole books because they are awesome.  I love the Bible, I think all the books in it are wonderful, but I have a soft spot for anything written by Paul.

Any who let's dig in.  I don't know how many scriptures there are in the Bible about wisdom but there is a lot.  It's clearly important to God, but what does it even mean?

Wisdom: The quality or state of being wise: knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.

That definition came from dictionary.com.  It sounds familiar doesn't it?  If I was going to describe God I might use those exact words, knowledge of what is right coupled with just judgment.  It's what draws me to Him.  I know a lot of smart, knowledgeable people, they can quote the Bible front to back, but it doesn't do them any good.  Wisdom means knowledge of right or truth coupled with just judgment as to what?  Action. 

Faith without works is dead, they will know us by our fruit!  Can I tell you a little secret, so long as you are awake you are in action.  We burn 80 - 100 calories per hour just by sitting.  Every conversation, every call, text, e-mail, facebook message, or chance encounter is an opportunity.  Every time you get in the car, every time you just step out of your bed as a Christian someone is watching.  At home your children and spouse are watching, at work your co-workers are watching, at the grocery store strangers are watching, and in your own private time God is still watching.  This means every second of the day is an opportunity to be wise. 

Paul tells us in the above scriptures that we should know the answers to their questions, that's important, knowledge is an important part of wisdom.  But it's only wisdom when it's coupled with just judgment in action.  God calls us to be wise because He knows how many people are watching us day in and day out looking for our slip ups, looking for the first chance they can get to say 'see, that's why I don't go to church because all Christians are hypocrites'. 

Some people say that Christianity is a crutch, that it's the easy way out.  Maybe that's someone else's version of Christianity because it's not mine.  We have, as Christians, a tremendous responsibility.  Those responsibilities are literally life and death, we can blatantly ignore those responsibilities and many will fall away, many will die and go to hell.  Or we can die to ourselves, pick up our cross, and be the people God has called us to be and many, many people will follow our example and be saved.  Wisdom is one of those responsibilities, if we do not show wisdom in our daily life, if we act rashly, are quick to anger and slow to listen, if we speak foolishly, if we take no time to think before we act, then our faith is dead.  What fruit can come out of anger?  What fruit can come out of hurtful words?  What fruit can come out of cutting someone off on the highway because they cut you off first? 

God is watching, that's scary enough, but people are watching too.  They are searching endlessly to feel that draw of wisdom, to feel that pull towards the light.  Many times they are searching in vain because so many Christians only bring that light out on Sunday mornings.  Most Christians only hear the Word once a week, knowledge is first, action is second.  How can you make wise choices if you don't know the Word?  Once you know the Word how can you NOT make wise choices?  We can't pretend anymore that what we've been doing is working, it's not.  No one is fulled by our faith filled facebook masks, unbelievers don't care how spiritual you sound, they are watching how you act all the time.  Wisdom is important, pray for it, research it, practice it with every chance you get. 

Righteous Indignation

Righteous Indignation
I'll be honest with you the amount of scripture regarding anger is a bit overwhelming.  I had a hard time pin pointing one specific scripture on righteous indignation.  What I did learn about it is that righteous indignation is what Christ means when He says 'be angry, but don't sin'.  Everything I've learned about it points to this type of anger that addresses sin, being mad at the sin not the sinner.  I've always loved that phrase.  Let me back up and tell you why I'm digging into the definition of righteous indignation.

I've been on a very interesting journey these past few months, I've had some earth shattering and some life changing moments.  I've said it several thousands of times now, God has called me to come up higher.  All the while I've been working on the things God has told me to fix the enemy has been nipping at my heels pestering me at every turn.  I'm sure I'm not alone, I'm certain most of you have heard the exact same lies whispered in your ear that I have 'No one likes you' 'no one wants you here' 'you don't belong here' ' you're not good enough' 'sin, sin, SIN' 'Think bad thoughts'. 

Most of you know I'm a writer, I've got a very imaginative mind and it gets carried away...a lot.  Satan takes full advantage of that and I have found it harder and harder to control my thoughts ever since I've began this new journey.  Don't worry, I get it, I know that the devil working against me is all the more proof that I'm on the right path, but it's sooooo annoying!  This Sunday I'm at church, people are praising, the music is fantastic, but I can't stop hearing over and over again how certain people don't like me, don't want me there, so forth and so on.  I'm praying, I'm telling Satan to shut up, I'm telling him to get behind me, I'm praying the blood over my mind but nothings working.  Finally I get to the point where I can't even praise.

'GOD', I say 'Don't you see this?  Why are you letting him do this to me?  Make him leave me alone!'
His response, ever so sweetly, calmly, patiently...

'Righteous indignation.'

I don't know what righteous indignation means, I've heard it before, I assume it means get angry so I say back...

'I am angry Lord.  Make it stop, it's annoying me, I'm praying why isn't it stopping?'

"You're not angry.  You're complacent.  When you leave the protection of the church doors you're afraid.  You're not angry with the enemy, you're afraid of him.  Learn righteous indignation.'

Oooooouuuuuch.  Shortly after this my pastor, God bless him, calls for an alter call.  I love alter calls.  I have the same argument every time the situation arises.

'Don't call me out Lord because I am not going up there.  I worked very hard on my mascara and eyeliner this morning and I cry every time I go down there'.  He doesn't even bother with replying anymore, if He calls I go.  This Sunday morning our pastor called for all those sick of the body and I thought 'HA, YESSSS, I am healthy as a horse!' Then he said something along the lines of 'anyone struggling with something they can't seem to break and you want God to intercede please raise your hands.

Now I don't know how things are at your church but usually at mine if you lift your hands you're going to be called up and up I went.  I didn't look up to see but I recognized the sweet voice of our pastors wife, she prayed for me to not be, that's right, you guessed it...afraid.  I'm telling you, God has the greatest sense of humor, that little smarty pants will make it as obvious as possible what He wants you to do so long as you'll listen.  So I'm blogging today about righteous indignation and the new work the Lord is doing in my heart.

I've got to learn to get angry at the enemy, I'm fighting, and losing, a battle that's already been won for me.  Jesus Christ beat that mean ol devil, He did the dirty work for us.  When the enemy tells me a lie behind it is a truth that the Lord is whispering for me to hear.

Satan: No body likes you
God: I love you, I gave my son for you
Satan: No one wants you here
God: You are where I want you
Satan: You don't belong here
God: I am here, you belong with me
Satan: You're not good enough
God: You are the apple of my eye
Satan: Sin, sin, SIN
God: Be holy as your father in heaven is holy
Satan: Think bad thoughts
God: Whatever is pure, what ever is good, whatever is worthy of praise, these things think on.

You see, the reason the truth is behind Satan's lies is because of what he is lying about, shallow, fleshly, worldly things that bother our flesh.  We want to be liked, to fit in, but when we figure out who we are in Christ we can identify the truth.  Satan's lies should burn the truth into our minds with the fire of righteous indignation. 

Righteous Indignation.  I'm not there yet, I'm wrapping my mind around it, I'm getting there.  Be angry at sin, be angry at what it does, what the enemy is doing.  He steals my confidence, my security, my time, and if I let him, my future.  But God's word promises to give back what the devil stole from us.  God's word promises.  Satan's lies destroy.